The 'My Immortal Girlfriend Dumped Me' Club
by Perchance - to - Dream - 12
Summary: A story about a human boy recently dumped by his immortal girlfriend who joins the 'My Immortal Girlfriend Dumped Me' club run by a vampire and a faerie living in New York and who have also been dumped by their girlfriends. In an interesting tale we find out how these three act like fools trying to get over them. Honestly I have no idea where this is going ..whoops!
1. Chapter 1

Hey Hey - This is my first story so sorry in advance for any stupid errors. This is set in Mortal Instrument's world but doesn't actually involve any the characters (Though I may have Simon pop up later) ... ENJOY!

Ryan Shawer was not immune to being surprised.

He, for example, was surprised when he found out that the girl he had been in love with since ninth grade turned out to be an immortal river nymph and that she needed his help in order to save her and her sisters from the chemicals that were polluting their pond and therefore killing them. He was even more shocked when she thanked him for his help by kissing him on the lips and, shortly after that, when she asked him out, which way more than a guy like him could have hoped for from a beautiful mystical girl - or even just a non mystical girl. And because he knew that they should never be dating, he was NOT surprised when she broke up with him.

"Hey, Ryan, we should talk." Kali said, walking over to him during lunch at school. Just from that one sentence, Ryan knew it was over - as she made no attempt to sit next to him like she usually did. He opened his mouth to reply that it was okay and he never expected it to get this far or anywhere at all but she spoke first. "I really appreciated what you did to help with the, uhm, problem I had and everything." she started out, playing with the skirt of her cheer uniform. "But I really feel like we would be better off with different people... I just don't think you can understand me too well and you deserve someone of your own, you know, species.", she leaned closer at the last part even though their was no one else at the table. "So I thought that maybe we could just be friends?", she asked - her wide green eyes latching on to his.

Ryan coughed nervously, she obviously didn't want to hurt him but it still stung "Uhm, no I understand.. completely." he twisted the corners of his mouth up in what was supposed to be a smile but made him look in pain. Kali bought it.

"Oh, good! That's great." she beamed, brushing her curled honey blonde hair back behind her shoulder "You're the best!" she added before scampering off to another table where her sisters were waiting for her. After a few minutes the girls were laughing at something Sophie - Kali's older sister - said acting like nothing had happened. And why should Kali be heartbroken? Ryan wondered as he watched them she had probably broken up with loads of boys in the last 134 years. He sighed and tossed his half - eaten lunch in the trash before walking to the school's main office. Ryan claimed that he was ill and was granted an early dismissal for the day.

Hours later after Ryan had done some very manly crying - he went to the trustee internet and googled what to do about his breakup. After reading some articles about how girls just lost interest in guys, he scoffed it was way worse with an immortal. There was barely anything you could do that they hadn't already seen before. As almost a joke he typed in 'What to do about my immortal girlfriend dumping me?'. He blinked as a website titled the "My Immortal Girlfriend Dumped Me Club" which was run by two teenagers from New York. Ryan read every single article - at first he assumed that the site was a joke or that 'Alex' and 'Blade' were high when they wrote it - but Ryan soon discovered that they too had been dragged into the mystical world where Kali was from. Demanding more answers he clicked on the 'Contact' button and starting writing Alex an email.

TADA! Leave reviews please :)


	2. Chapter 2

So .. Chapter Two! Yay! So Beara wrote like half of this one XD But yeah.. Introducing ALEX and BLADE. *dances*

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Alex, or Alexander Jaminson, sat miserably at his desk in the huge library. Even though he appeared to be an 18 year old male, he was really a faerie over 200 million years old. He was holding his slightly cracked Iphone in hand (Alex had adapted to the human form of communication since he spent the majority of his time in their world) in hopes that Aqua would finally call him back so he could apologize for whatever act he had done that was 'bad'. She dumped him two weeks ago and all he'd been able to do since was mope around his penthouse and write depressing poetry. Which was not at all logical. His twin sister, Angel, found it hilarious and as a joke set up a website for Alex to use.

"It'll be fun, Alex!" She protested, showing him the site for the first time. It was neatly organized and Angel had written some articles about faeries and warlocks so that the blog wasn't completely empty "Give you a chance to vent or something" she shrugged.

Alex rolled his eyes "Angel, it's not a club if there's only one person and besides I don't want to vent. I don't want to be single. I don't want to have to publicly announce that Aqua dumped me. I just wanted her back" he frowned, closing the window to the website and bring up a blank document for more poetry.

"Whatever" Angel muttered, sliding off of his desk where she had been perched while pitching her idea "I'll talk to you in a few hundred years or whenever you get over this" she said, walking out of his office.

Three days later Alex finally caved in and brought up the website Angel made, and typing up some advice up getting over your girlfriend - not that he personally would ever use this advice but he thought it could be useful to someone out there.

As he was about halfway through the document he heard the office door open and turned around expecting to see Angel instead he was greeted by her ex-boyfriend Blade. "What do you want?" he asked, rolling his eyes "I thought Angel kicked you out of here."

Blade scoffed at Alex, "Do you know where Valerie is? I need to ask her something." he stated.

Alex tilted his head at the mention of his half-sister's name "Why? Trying to replace Angel with Val?" he chuckled "I don't approve of that. Valerie is already too blood crazy and I don't think that dating a vampire would help her much"

"Would you just tell me where she is? I'm not in the mood to deal with you." Blade muttered, running a hand through his hair. "I'm not asking her on a date. Don't be stupid."

The faerie sighed, Blade was in an especially bad mood tonight it seemed, though they usually didn't get along too much better than this "I have no idea" he admitted, turning back around to face his computer and write the paper, hoping that Blade would leave.

"Well... Could you ask Angel for me? I don't want to talk to her by myself." Blade sighed, getting angry with Alex, tapping his foot impatiently

"Oh, come on. Angel isn't that scary - she's like 5'1..." Alex said "Besides I'm busy." he nodded at the screen as he continued typing.

Blade glanced at the computer "Busy doing what? Having no life?" he smirked, obviously cracking himself.

"Writing a blog Angel made for me. It's called 'My Immortal Girlfriend Dumped Me' club" Alex shrugged "I'd invite you to join but that would require spending more time with you." he muttered, spending time with Blade was worse than listen to Angel blabber about him - and that was horrible.

"Gee, thanks... I love you too." Blade replied. He blinked at the screen, quickly reading what he wrote.

Alex chuckled at Blade's sarcastic declaration of love "You can wait here and I'll go ask Angel about Val... " he said, posting what he wrote before exiting the room.

"Mkay, you go have fun with that," Blade nodded, sitting down in Alex's computer chair. He spun around, then looked back at the blog his 'friend' had been using. after a few minutes, he typed up a post explaining who he was and what happened.

_Hey, I'm Blade and I'm a vampire. Rawr. So I've been dating Angel (Alex's sister) for the last forty year. We started dating before I was turned and then we broke up for awhile but we've pretty have been good since we got back together. Except that she broke up with me a little over a week ago. Here's what happened:_

_I came over to the penthouse to hang out with Angel like a good boyfriend. But when I got here she was gone and only her half sister Valerie was here. Valerie is insane but she's cool to hang out with because she makes the best food since she has an obsession with blood. One time she made a blood pie and she used O negative for the blood filling. Anywayss so this time she me made some pasta with a blood sauce (Also O Negative) and some dude's liver instead of meatballs and while I was over there Valerie got really pissed off at the baby, Lily. Lily is Alex's kid. She only exists because this bitch got Alex drunk and like raped him which sucks because we're stuck with her now. So Valerie got made because Lily kept crying and being really annoying - she's like a mutant baby or something she's nine months old but she walks around and talks in sentences - it's really weird. Val ended up cutting 'I'M AN ANNOYING SHIT' onto Lily's face, which only made her cry more but when Angel got home she dumped me because I had been a part of it or something..._


End file.
